That moment when you begin to wonder if you’ve been left “on read.”
That feeling of uncertainty. Are they ignoring me? Did something happen? Maybe they didn’t get it. I should probably send it again.
*Sends double message.*
Still no response.
Well maybe.
Sometimes no response is the response.
A very loud and clear response.
And yes, while many in America celebrate July 4th as a day of independence and freedom, I will take license and compare being black in America to the feeling of being left “on read.”
Let me explain.
It’s the feeling of having a career, a masters degree; being halfway through obtaining a second master’s, but still getting followed around the store.
Pretty much any store.
Strictly based on my skin color alone.
Because credentials mean nothing when shopping while black.
It’s the feeling of being pulled over by two white male police officers, with guns drawn, and listening as they struggled to find a reason to justify why they pulled me over as I sat in the car crying in fear for my life…
It feels like screaming “Black Lives Matter,” while mass incarceration and police brutality rates prove otherwise. It feels like being forced into slavery, having a nation built on the blood sweat and tears of your ancestors, only to later still be regarded as “beings of an inferior order.” It’s the feeling of having someone view your features, style, and culture as something to capitalize and commodify, all while using it as a weapon to stereotype and limit your access to promotion, and sometimes even participation.
As defined by the Urban Dictionary, being left on read is the “highest level of disrespect a human being can receive.” You being left on read means the other person saw your message. Although they know you have the receipts to prove it, they chose not to respond.
No response was their response.
This is America.
*Insert Childish Gambino dance here*
That’s why I felt compelled to write today’s post.
While many wear red, white, and blue today as a symbol of patriotism, I chose to wear red today in celebration of a different level of freedom.
“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13 NLT
That was this morning’s Bible verse.
A very early morning Bible verse. Like 2:30-3:00AM early.
So while I could continue to focus on the disparities that exist in this country, I chose to focus on the fact that this is still my Father’s world, and “though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.”
For me, wearing red today had nothing to do with America and everything to do with 
allegiance to the One whose blood covers the stuff I’ve had to repent for. Stuff I have to repent for. Stuff I’m going to have to repent for. The One who shaped and formed me in my mother’s womb and knows the plans he has for me. The One who wants me to be connected to him, and my maintaining this connection makes me royalty. One who can grant me access to places and opportunities people believe they have the power to exclude me from. The One who is teaching me to love and pray for people that despise, mistreat, and speak all manner of evil against me. The One who decided to show off by wrapping all of these gifts and talents in this much melanin!
Freedom in Christ is a beautiful thing!
This level of freedom allows me to acknowledge that “being African American means being African without memory and black without privilege,” while understanding and embracing that my true identity will only be found in Christ. This freedom helps me to walk away from America’s deceptive scales of measuring the worth of the “souls of black folk,” to acknowledge the fact that the Lord hates dishonest scales, and to him, I am worth more than rubies!
So if I have to way my options: choose to get a text back from America, or remain loved, covered and protected by the blood stained banner of Jesus Christ…
I’d rather be left on red.
About the Look:
Red Heart Dots Belted Dress: SHEIN Plus
White heart sunglasses: Five Below.
Pale Gold Crossbody: Michael Kors.
Tan Lace-up Sandals: Amazon.
Sunhat: Thrifted.
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xoxo,
Annitra
Different by Design 
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